Modern society only seems to be filled with open-minded and evolved people. But actually, people don’t adore people who are different from them which is not any different than how it had been 100 years ago. People still feel entitled to mention things like, “She’s 30 years old and she or he still doesn’t have kids,” or other phrases like this, which aren’t very pleasant to listen to, even from people we don’t care much about.
My name is Masha and I’ve made an inventory of ordinary things that folks are still judged for. and that I decided to inform silver lining readers why I feel it’s okay to try to do this stuff.
Mothers with smartphones
People believe that an honest mother is meant to observe her child on the playground rather than check her phone. I’m not perfect and I often get distracted by my phone while my son is twiddling with his friends. I assume I should be ashamed of this, but I’m not. First, a 5-year-old doesn’t need the maximum amount of attention as a baby, and second, a contemporary mother features a lot of important reasons to get on her phone.
Someone is texting me from work, then my son’s teacher tells everyone that we’d like to bring an image, handmade using natural materials, by tomorrow (right “on time”), and a delivery guy from an order I placed tells me he’ll arrive in an hour, so we’ve to urge moving.
By Christmas, I want to settle on and buy presents for everybody, to not mention pay my taxes, and make a meeting with the pediatrician for my son. In most families, women are those who need to affect these problems. fairly often, using their phones. So, why do mothers with phones make people so angry?
Good clothes for home
Many people want to dress up for others once they are outside and wear old rags once they are received, where their loved ones see them. I always saw my mother wearing some old robe, and I only wore old T-shirts and stretched pants at reception. Of course, it’s comfortable and it’s okay if you stain these clothes while cooking, but you don’t want to seem at yourself in the mirror.
In the spring, I started performing from home, and I spend 90% of my time in reception. So, my husband and my son see me, and I see myself in my home clothes. due to this, I’ve ordered several comfortable and good-looking clothing items to wear at the reception. My mom was shocked, “They are new. Why are you wearing them at home?” I’m okay thereupon. I’d rather not buy another dress than wear old pants again.
Haircuts and hair coloring at expensive salons
I recently saw my neighbor: she looked stunning as if she were 10 years younger. I didn’t understand what happened initially, on the other hand, I realized: a replacement haircut and an unusual hair color had turned Ann into a noble lady. It clothed that on her 40th birthday, she visited the simplest hairstylist in town and spent tons of cash, but it had been worthwhile.
She told me how her relatives took the changes. At the party, everyone loved the hair and therefore the transformation, until they acknowledged what proportion it cost. Someone even said that they might live a month off this money.
Ann told me that she even felt a touch ashamed for a flash for spending such a lot of money, on the other hand, she walked past a mirror, saw her reflection, and understood: it had been her day, her money, her hair, and her life. you’ll do that sometimes. Nothing makes a lady look as great as a cheerful smile and feeling that she is attractive.
Defending your rights
My friends often say, “Why does one need to do this?” I just want to measure during a comfortable environment. this is often why I always have plastic bags for dog owners and why I always ask them to wash up after their pets. When I’m at a supermarket, I ask the cashier to sell the products at the worth that the worth tag said, less because “they forgot to vary the tags.”
When a boss that no one argues with regularly causes you to stay late or work on the weekends (without paying you more, of course), I don’t think you ought to need to tolerate this. he’s stealing some time. Colleagues say that he’ll fire me, but I’m not a slave.
I’d preferably be an employee whose rights are respected than be someone who is praised for working tirelessly free of charge. I even have the proper to rest and do as I please. and I decide to use these rights.
2 years ago, I bought excellent quality winter shoes. I spent 1/3 of my monthly income on them. When my friends asked me what proportion my shoes cost, I told them the reality. and that they were shocked and said that albeit the shoes were great, I could’ve bought something cheaper.
But I’m 30+ now and I know that good shoes aren’t just a silly waste of cash, it’s taking care of your health. In these 2 years in my expensive and warm shoes, I’ve never fallen on ice, I’ve never been cold, and I’ve saved tons of cash on medications for my back and my joints.
When I was a toddler every Saturday started with cleaning up, which is why I always hated the sixth day of the week with all my heart. then, I lived alone for an extended time, and I did the cleaning only because I felt loved it. After I got married, I felt guilty because I wasn’t an honest wife: I didn’t clean the chandeliers more often than once a year.
At that time, I made a decision to call a cleaning service and left home for 4 hours. once I returned, I used to be shocked: the apartment was sparkling clean, and therefore the 2 ladies were smiling once they saw my face. I didn’t care about the cash: I might never get the place this clean even for 3 times the money I paid. Now, once a month, a cleaning service comes and cleans my apartment.
My husband was against it initially, “Can’t you are doing it yourself? My mom…” But when he saw the result, he realized it had been worthwhile. We didn’t tell his mom because we all know what her reaction would be.
Things you “can’t afford”
Honestly, in the past, I also thought it had been funny when people bought new iPhones or spent all their income at a restaurant and then didn’t have money until their next paycheck. But as I got older, I noticed that folks need to have dreams which they ought to attempt to make come true regardless of how silly they could look to somebody else.
My ex-colleague Sarah wanted a coat. She even saw it in her dreams. She’d been saving for it for an extended time and eventually got it. She still took the bus to figure out why she couldn’t drive and she or he had no money for a taxi. Everyone laughed at her because she had a very expensive coat she wore on the bus, but she was happy. And it doesn’t matter what others think as long as your dreams come true.
Too simple / too fancy wedding
Only the bride and therefore the groom should be those deciding the way to celebrate their day, but no — others always want to interfere. My husband and I didn’t need a big wedding, so we only invited 12 of our closest friends, including our parents, and we were happy. Our distant relatives are still bitter because we “didn’t want to spend money on the marriage .”
My husband’s ally threw an enormous party. He even got a loan to buy it. But now most are criticizing him for celebrating for 3 days and paying for it for 3 years. So, once you are planning a marriage, just believe what the two of you would like, not what others tell you that you simply should want.
Many children / no children
With children, it’s even worse than with a marriage. Our friends don’t want to become parents. they’re good together. Their parents keep telling them, “You’re selfish, you simply believe in yourselves.” they need to possess grandchildren but our friends don’t want to possess kids. They were so uninterested in the complaints that they even told everyone that they were infertile. Now, everyone feels pitying them.
At the equivalent time, having quite 3 children is one more reason to speak about someone. Like, why do they have numerous kids, and do they even have skills to use birth control? albeit these big families have enough money, people are still suspicious of them — 7 kids within the 21st century?
Not wanting to have people over
Once, when my husband and I lived in a one-bedroom apartment, my relative called me with an unusual request. Her daughter and her daughter’s husband were getting to come to our town every week and wanted to remain at our place. I refused. I didn’t know the relatives well —we were never close, and I hate having people in my place.
I’m not the simplest host, and lots of people have told me that. My house is my fortress and only my closest loved ones can come and visit. I’m happy to ascertain them. Everyone else can see me at the other place without violating my privacy.
Being indifferent to beauty standards
The ideals of female beauty are constantly changing and different sources of data keep telling us what’s “beautiful” and what isn’t. If you attend the gym, you ought to train your butt, because “biceps are for guys.” Long hair is feminine, and short hair is ugly. you’ve got to wear dresses and high heels.
In the past, I had tons of skirts and fancy shoes in my wardrobe, but today I mostly wear jeans and sneakers — even in the summer. I feel better in this manner. My mom is shocked because I used to be girly before and now I’m different. But I desire a woman in any clothes I wear.
What perfectly normal things are you judged for by people you know?